Amydgala

I would choose you in a heartbeat.

A beat in which i hums your name. A vow i swore by, in my blood, alive. Trampling down my neck, under my breath. It lurks like shadows, biting me so hard i won't be able to let you go.

Is it a curse?

In a dazzling sea all i can taste is salt water, alike with the ringing in my ribs the day you said your goodbye. It bubbles trough my lungs, foaming deep in my throat and yet i was still able to beg for your presence. Am i asking for too much decency?

You see, i forgot when my heart sounded like a heart. On most days, it sounded like footsteps. Sometimes little walks, runs, or even the sound of running trough stairs. The day you left, my heart sounded like closed doors. Ramming and jagging. I feel so empty yet i make more space for the void. I began to normalize the darkness inside your belly, swallowed by the empty promises and broken memories.

Am i not worth scarring for?

I still would choose you in a heartbeat. In a heartbeat that tastes like bloody wrists and swelled tears.
Still salt in every atom. Maybe i'll grow another heart.

One that is not yours to drown.